One arm, twice the trouble

I am going to be that person and bore you to tears with tales of my amazing-to-me children.  But first, a little introduction on the latest addition to the househould.  Some of you may know him from my Facebook picture uploads displaying his amazing sleeping skills:

And in a flash I became THAT person.  The one who has no children and speaks of their pets as their babies.  Not sure if I’m okay with that but it’s almost expected of me since Karl is a veterinarian and we have no children.  I’ll lean on that crutch.

Back in April, Karl woke me up with a phone call in the middle of the night.  He asked me, “Do you want another cat?”  I thought I was dreaming.  This is the same guy who gave me grief when I adopted a second cat a few years ago.  “Our house is too small,” he said.  “We don’t need more pets!” he-of-the-many-reptiles said.  Hypocrite.

Karl was on an overnight shift at a local vet clinic when a mother and son brought in a small cat wrapped in a blood-soaked towel.  When Karl picked up the 4 month old kitten to take some scans he noticed that its front leg “felt like hamburger”.  A neighbor shot at the cat with a .45 hand gun, obliterating the cat’s front left leg.

The owners unfortunately could not afford to pay for treatment; they couldn’t even afford the euthanasia fee.  Karl asked if they would sign ownership of the kitten over to him and they agreed.  Karl said he felt his last remaining heart-string being pulled. And tah-DAAAH. . .we had a third cat.  That last heart-string broke.

Karl amputated the leg below the scapula.  Then he took the amputated leg and petted the kitten with its own limb because he’s a sick individual like that.  (I probably would have done it too and that’s why we’re married.)  After about a week’s worth of antibiotics and healing time Mr. Stubbs was ready to come home:

Just because he has one arm doesn’t mean he can’t get around.  He runs pretty damned fast.  Mr. Stubbs has managed to escape twice and the second time he was out all night.  I admit it, I was heartbroken and thought I lost my cat forever.  Looks like Karl is going to have to remove another limb.  And maybe then we’ll spank him with it.

2 Responses to “One arm, twice the trouble”
  1. Kim says:

    hahah I almost spit my drink out when I read the part about Karl petting the kitty with it’s own amputated leg…hahahah

  2. lindsey says:

    disturbingly hilarious!

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